Wednesday, 29 December 2010

30 Days of Kink: Day 4

Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks?

I wouldn't say they hint at it so much as yell it from the rooftops! I had lots of Barbies and they were all sex slaves to Aladdin (the one Ken doll I had), several of them remained naked at all times, there was lots of orgies, lesbian sex and "rape." On several occasions Jasmine disobeyed and was beaten, tied up naked, gang raped and generally punished.

When I got a baby born for Christmas one year rather than using the accessories for the doll I used them for me, I kept a potty in my bedroom and imagined groups of men watching me pee in it, I used the bottle to give myself mini enemas (though I didn't know that's what they were).

In primary school I had a friend who, in hindsight, was my Domme. We spent lots of time together playing sexually. One time I remember vividly I was naked and lying down on my bedroom floor and she wrote on me in lipstick (I don't recall what) and inserted pencils, pens and various other objects into me.
Another time we were at her house playing and her little brother came in and she shut me in her wardrobe, totally naked.

I've already written about one of my fantasies during childhood, that was every time I had a shower. I had others which I will write about in the future.

So yea, I was way past hinting!

Tuesday, 28 December 2010

30 Days of Kink: Day 3

How did you discover you were kinky?

I must have been in my mid teens and I can't really remember a specific moment or even but I think it was general conversation with my friends that made me realise that all the fantasies I'd been having weren't "normal" and how I imagined sex to be wasn't what everyone else imagined. I think one of the main things that made me realise was when I was talking to my best friend about love and marriage and she was saying how she pictured her first time, on her wedding day, bed covered in rose petals, lights off, gentle love making. I had never in my life before that even considered that, I always pictured my first time being thrown to the bed, handcuffed, spanked and fucked hard.

So yea, I think it was mostly a comparison with friends thing!

30 Days of Kink: Day 2

List your kinks

My god! Where to start!

Power exchange certainly. I automatically surrender power in the bedroom so that's probably the most "important" if there's levels of importance! I'm really into humiliation too, I'm easily humiliated and shy which makes it fairly easy but I do enjoy it very much! They're probably the "main" ones.

Hmmm. I love anal, I'm quite an ass slut to be honest. I love being spanked. I'm turning into a bit of a pain slut too. The idea of being used by multiple people and whored out turns me on, I have yet to see if the reality does too though.

That is by no means a good list but I don't think I could write a full list, it would constantly need updating!

Monday, 27 December 2010

Punishment

I did not see this one coming, at all. I was expecting a ban on panties, to have to go out with my butt plug in, to have to wear my new nipple clamps for a set time, instead he has opted for a mind fuck!

I deserve it, I agreed to something and didn't consult him. I actually asked to be punished because I felt so guilty and I'm not very good at forgiving myself. But I wasn't expecting this! He is not letting me shave my *ahem* lady parts for at least 2 weeks. After 2 weeks he will judge how my behaviour has been and decide whether I am allowed to shave again.

That might not sound like much of a punishment but you need to bear in mind that I have never not shaved. The moment I started growing hair I shaved it. I have never, in my entire life, had hair "there"!

And so it begins...2 weeks...this should be interesting!

Wednesday, 15 December 2010

30 Days of Kink: Day 1

I have recently come across 30 days of Kink at Insatiable Desire and I thought it would be a fabulous way to introduce myself and maybe learn something about myself too! So here we go with day one:

Dom, sub, switch?
Sub. Though I do, now and again, find myself wondering what it would be like to Top.

What parts of BDSM interest you?
The discipline and submission parts are probably the most key to me.

Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you.
Oh lord, that's a difficult one. For me I it's about pleasing someone else, making them proud of me, making them happy, making their life a little easier and more enjoyable. That's what drives me. Having said that, I've recently discovered my inner pain slut so it's also about learning, developing and growing.

Basically define your kinky self for us.
I'm a submissive girl who's recently found a love for Daddy/girl play and realised that I'm a pain slut! I have a love of humiliation play and would love to be the "entertainment" at a party. There's still lots and lots I have to try but that's half the fun :)

Friday, 10 December 2010

A Childhood Fantasy

Sat in the shower listing to the radio my mind wanders, as always, to another place: a cold stone dungeon, completely bare apart from small stone "tables" that rise from the floor to about waist height, laid out in a regular pattern around the room. I am sat, naked, legs spread on one such table. As ever there is a girl on every table, all nude, some held down with chains, others resigned and doing as they are told. Men surround all of them. They are fully clothed, always, only ever unzipping when they want to fuck us.

A man approaches, different from the others, an air of arrogance surrounds him. He is the main object of my fantasies, he appears in all of them. He is a sadist, he has no regard for my feelings, to him I truly am just a toy to use however he sees fit. He picks up the shower head and aims it at my clit, ordering me to spread my lips so the water hits the sensitive little nub. The group of men surrounding me watch me fight the pleasure, I cum so easily that they never let me. He never lets me. I must always wait.

"Clench your cunt. Squeeze it. You should always be tight," he says. I battle to get control of my cunt, as I squeeze it tight I feel the need to cum overwhelm me. He sees my body tense and bellows "don't you dare." I clamour desperately to obey all of his orders, trying my hardest to keep my cunt muscles squeezed tight while doing my best to ignore the water spraying on my clit. "One minute," he says and I begin to mentally count down. Finally he says "cum, now," and my body begins to shudder, my hips buck but two men grab them and hold them down, the water does not stop spraying at my, now over sensitive, clit. I begin to scream and cry, desperate to wiggle away from it.

He is watching me. I am writhing under the hands that are now holding my hips still and my legs wide. "Stop," he commands, but I can't, he knows I can't. "Stop right now or I will rip orgasms from you until I am happy that you have learnt your lesson." I cry harder as I realise my unavoidable fate. The water continues to pound my clit and suddenly I feel a pressure on my ass. He rams a plug into me, sending me further into the spiral of pleasure, I cry out as another orgasm tears through my little body hot on the heels of the last. He demands that I squeeze the plug, as I attempt to writhe it grinds into me making the pleasure even more unbearable. More tears stream down my face.

He continues to drag orgasm after orgasm from my trembling body, watching me , getting off on my trauma. Finally he decides to stop, the water ceases and he flicks my tender clit before he walks away. I squeal and struggle to stand.

Back to reality I balance on my wobbly legs, finishing washing myself before getting out of the shower.

Monday, 6 December 2010

Bedtime

I have a bedtime, 1am, it's a sensible hour, I asked for it, but dammit I can't keep to it. I suffer insomnia and lying in bed for hours on end getting stressed and upset isn't especially appealing. I desperately want to keep to my bedtime, when my sleeping is normal and I get to bed at 1am, or earlier, I often dream about snuggling up with him. It comforts me to know that I've done as he asked and makes me feel close to him.

I have all but exhausted the suggestions on how to beat insomnia: lavender oil, rescue remedy night, nytol, kalms, no caffeine, lying in bed for hours, getting up and doing things, having wind down time, having a bedtime routine, only going to bed when tired, going to bed at the same time, forcing myself to get up at a sensible hour, allowing myself to sleep, etc, etc, etc. You get the picture! Nothing works.

It's so frustrating. I know he understands and I can't help it but it's so frustrating. I want to be a good girl and my dammed body wont let me!

Friday, 26 November 2010

Fucktoy Friday

It's become an institution on twitter so I thought I'd post a photo here and attempt to turn on twitter in 140 characters!

Monday, 22 November 2010

A Fantasy

She looks me up and down and licks her lucious lips. I can see the lust in her eyes as she imagines what is under my clothes, her obvious desire for me crushing my nerves and I stand tall for her, encouraging her eyes to rove. I'm nervous to allow my own eyes to take her in, she is so beautiful and I am a little threatned by that. Gorgeous women have always made me nervous. She is definitely not nervous, she is oozing sexuality, she knows exactly what she wants and she obviously always gets it.

"Dance for me," she says. I freeze, panic washing over me. I have never been good at voluntarily being sexual, it feels wrong, it's not appropriate. I had only danced for Daddy once before, I knew he wanted me to perform for her, I knew there would be consequences if I didn't. I closed my eyes and started to slowly swing my hips, pretending there was no one else there, I ran my hands nervously over my curves and heard her voice again.
"Open your eyes. I want you to see who you're performing for." I fight my eyelids open and look at her, she flicks on some music and her hips gyrate to the rhythm as she walks towards me. I almost forget to keep dancing for her, mesmerised by her body drawing ever closer. She reaches a hand out to touch my hip and pulls me to her, grinding her own hips against mine.
"Loosen up" she says, her hot breath landing on my neck as our bodies rub. She runs her hands up my body and finds my already pert nipples, she begins to stroke them before using them to pull me even closer so she can kiss me.

As her tongue begins to explore my mouth I can't control my hands any longer and they fumble at her dress buttons, desperate to feel her soft skin. I free her breasts and run my thumbs over her nipples, tracing my fingers around them, then stroking the rest of her breasts. Her skin feels so smooth and warm. Suddenly she breaks the kiss and takes her hands off me, my own arms drop from her body worried I have done something wrong. Her eyes are kind and she smiles at me and clasps my hand, leading me into a different room.

As we enter a large lounge I notice that we are not alone in it, there are men sat on the sofas chatting and stood holding drinks, all around the outside of the room. I slow down but she tugs my arm, taking me right into the center of the room. The chatter dies down and all eyes turn to look at us while I do my best to keep my eyes focussed on the floor.
"Take your clothes off" she says calmly. My eyes dart up to hers in panic and she nods, "and be sexy about it." I feel for the buttons on my shirt, my hands tremblng, eyes once again on the floor. I manage one button and already feel incredibly exposed. The silence is deafening, they are all waiting for me.

A couple more buttons undone and I still cannot bring myself to look up. As a slide my shirt off I feel totally vulnerable, Daddy doesn't like his little girl to wear bras, my breasts are completely on show to them now and terrified as I am I feel a damp patch appear in my panties. I can feel their eyes on my topless body and try my best to ignore it as her hands touch my breasts putting me slightly at ease. She teases my nipples with her fingers again and then nods towards my skirt. I slide it down very slowly, trying to conceal my modesty for as long as possible, what there is left of it that is, and when it hits the floor she pulls it away from me. I stand there in just my wet panties, surrounded by a minimum of 30 men, feeling the most exposed I have ever felt until she mutters, "they want you on all fours."

The silence as they watch is worse than if they were hollering and shouting, they are all paying close attention to my every move. I slowly get down onto all fours, the damp in my panties exposed to half of the guests. I flush red, so embarrassed that they all know how horny I am, how wet I get. The girl pushes my head down so my humiliation is plain to everyone, even as I kneel I get wetter at the thought of all the eyes watching me. I feel her soft hand caress my ass before stroking my panties and getting my juices going even more, then she slides them off.

At that moment I feel totally helpless. Naked in front of a room of fully clothed men, cunt dripping wet and offered up to them,  I am at their mercy. The woman slides her finger inside me and swirls it around before bringing it to my mouth.
"Lick it clean," she commands. My nose scrunches up but I open my mouth and reluctantly suck my juices off her fingers. "Good girl," she praises me, "you're making your Daddy very proud."

She moves back to my exposed cunt and I feel her fingers spread it open. There is a shuffle of feet and a slight sound of metal, then I feel something cold inside me. My mind raced, these men can now not only see my outer nakedness, they can see inside me too. There is a speculum holding me wide enough open that they can see everything. There are more sounds of feet shuffling and then a male voice.
"Pass me the flash light."

After my cunt had been discussed and examined in great detail the speculum was removed and I breathed deep thinking that it was home time. Then I felt a finger in my cunt again but only briefly, because then it slid into my ass. I couldn't help but let out a quiet, but audible, moan that led to some chuckling around the room causing my face to flush bright red again. The finger in my ass began to gently fuck me and my moans got gradually louder. She built up the pace, faster and faster. I felt my horniness dripping down my legs and I began to tense.
"Remember your Daddy told you not to cum," she chuckled and she finger fucked me harder. I wailed and fought to control myself, begging for her to stop so that I wouldn't break Daddy's rule, I was so close and I wanted it so badly  but finally she did stop. My hips wiggled with frustration but at least I'd been good.

"Sit up. Now you have to please me," said the woman with a grin as she unbuttoned the last of her dress and slid it off to reveal nothing underneath but the most beautiful body I had ever seen. She lay on the floor in the centre of the room, not phased at all by the onlookers, spread her legs and nodded at me. I crawled closer to her and kissed her shoulder, then her neck, then down her chest to her amazing breasts. My hands ran over her curves, savouring the feel of her, wanting to touch every inch of her skin. I kissed all around her breasts, avoiding the nipples, all down her tummy, and all down her long, toned legs, right to her toes. As I made my way back up again I paused to breathe in her smell and plant a kiss right on her clit. When I made it back to her neck I lifted my head to kiss her lips again, our tongues caressed each other while my hands continued to learn her body by heart.

One hand slid between her legs and felt how much she wanted me, she was fighting to not grind herself against my hand. I brought my hand to my face and licked her juices from my finger right in front of her, her eyes went wide as she watched. With her taste still in my mouth I moved my attention back to her breasts, sucking a nipple into my mouth and rolling it around with my tongue. I suckled and licked and nibbled until she moaned and then moved over to the next one. When I was happy that I had paid enough attention to her nipples I kissed my way down to her tummy. I traced my nails around her lower abdomen and her upper thighs, gradually getting closer, watching the wetness drip from her before finally allowing my tongue to touch her. I gently licked her opening first, then up to her clit, flicking it a couple of times before sliding my tongue inside her. My hands alternated between stroking her, occasionally scratching her, and pulling at her nipples while my tongue licked out all the juice that my fun had created.
I was dripping wet myself and had totally forgotten that we had an audience who could see that. Pulling my tongue out of her I replaced it with 2 of my fingers while I sucked at her clit, running my tongue round it while I finger fucked her. She started to tense and I kept up the pace. She began moaning. Such amazing, guttural, animal noises coming from her when her hips started to buck. I fought to hold her still while continuing her pleasure but she screamed out for me open my mouth wide. I obeyed instantly, lost in the moment, in her orgasm, and when her cum squirted into my mouth it took a moment to realise what had happened. I gently sucked her clit while she rode the last of her orgasm, shaking slightly and panting.

As I stopped it occurred to me that I was still naked in a room of strangers, and had just done all that in front of them too. She saw the realisation dawn on me and spied an opportunity.
"Lie down on your back," she said and as soon as I did she lifted my legs up and held them there and tapped my bum. "Maybe we should send you home with a nice spanked bottom," she smiled as her hand smacked my ass. "I thought your Daddy taught you to count them," she questioned as she landed another smack.
"One," I whispered.
"Louder," she commanded, "I want all these men to be able to hear you."
Another strike landed and I tried again, "One."
"Much better, now keep it up."
I continued to count as she spanked me, my ass starting to match the flush of my cheeks. She stopped at 20 after several squealed numbers and told me to stand up.
"I've had lots of fun today, I'll be telling your Daddy what a good girl you are, but I want to keep your clothes as a reminder." She was serious. I didn't have any spare, I would have to be naked in the car on the way home. "Now bend over and spread that cunt of yours one last time for these lovely guests of ours." I did as I was told and she slid something into my ass. "Good girl, now go wait outside for Daddy."

I walked out and stood nervously by the door hoping no one would see me but became quickly distracted from my lookout by a burning in my ass. It was ginger. They had put ginger in me as a parting gift and now I had to keep it in during the ride home. It wasn't far but it was far enough, especially when your ass is on fire.

Daddy arrived and I climbed in,  he smiled at me and told me he was pleased with me. We drove home with me wiggling on the seat, every so often Daddy would tell me to clamp down on the ginger in my ass and watch a tear roll down my cheek while my face contorted in pain. Once home he carried me in and placed me on the floor while he sat down in his chair.
"You've been such a good girl today, I have a treat for you: you get to suck Daddy's cock, but you have to keep a tight grip on that ginger." I winced, nodded and unzipped his pants. He was already hard from seeing the pain on my face on the way home so I took him in my mouth, squeezed tight on the ginger and sucked his cock just like he'd taught me while more tears streamed down my face. When I started crying too hard to suck any more he lifted me off his cock and turned me round, pulling the ginger out and ramming his cock in. I screamed with pain as he fucked my ass, each scream only encouraging him. As he got close he commanded me to cum. I didn't think I could, I thought the pain would be too much, but I came for him like the little slut he had made me while his cock throbbed as his cum filled me up.

"You're a good little girl, baby," he said, scooping me up in his arms. He sat back down on his chair with me curled on his lap, rocking me. I snuggled into him as he repeated, "Such a good baby girl."

Sunday, 21 November 2010

Trying to get back in the swing

note: it has been a long time since I had sex and an even longer time since I wrote anything naughty! Bear with me while I get back into the writing! Please!

Sat naked, arms cuddling her knees and blindfolded in a corner she hears his boots. They're heavy, and so black and she can picture them walking towards her. She has cum on those boots so many times. She has licked it off while he calls her dirty slut, taunting her for getting her juices all over them. She relives those moments in her mind as she hears him slowly draw closer, the moistness glistening between her folds catches his eye and he grins to himself.

She feels his fist in his hair as he begins to pull her up, he pushes her head against his cock and she dutifully opens her mouth to accept it. She begins by slowly working her tongue around it, holding it in her mouth while she licks from the base to the tip. She reaches her hands forward to steady herself and finds his boots. She tries to subtly run her hands over them, using her lack of sight as an excuse to take in their feel, their shape, their strength. Her nipples harden as she strokes them and she suddenly feels his grip on one breast, she has not been subtle at all. She quickly shuffles her hands further up his legs and focuses on the cock in her mouth.

Slowly it starts to harden. She traces her tongue up and down it, swirling it around the tip, flicking her tongue against it. As it grows she starts to gently graze her teeth along the shaft while she sucks. She tastes his precum and continues with zeal, knowing that she is pleasing him. Her mouth is filled with saliva that coats his cock and slowly starts to drip down her chin as she slides her mouth up and down him. Her cunt is soaking now, she wants to touch him, to have him touch her, but he has rules. He wants her to suck his cock right now and nothing else, she is there to serve him in any way he wants.

More to come. Suggestions and constructive criticism welcome!

Sunday, 14 November 2010

Anonymity

I'd love to put photos up on here but I'm currently pondering how much to reveal, specifically whether to avoid face shots. Now I know that a lot of folks don't care about the face but I think that the face sells the photo, the look in the eyes, the giveaway smile, that kind of thing. Of course the downside to that is that should a friend or family member, or worse employer, somehow wind up on this blog there's no talking my way out of it!

Obviously there are ways certain people will recognise me, I blog elsewhere about non-kinky things and my writing style will no doubt be comparable, some people will put two and two together, but I'm hoping to use this blog as an outlet for the kinky side of myself where those that don't understand it don't see it. I'll definitely be posting some naughty stories (when I've finished them) and will no doubt be sharing any exciting exploits, but for some reason I feel the urge to post photos too. Maybe I'm secretly an exhibitionist and I never knew!

I'm also a bit wary of linking this blog to my Fetlife account (and vice versa), mainly because that currently links to my other blog, other twitter and will make me easily recognisable. *Sigh* It's tough trying to be anonymous! Suggestions would be much appreciated!

Saturday, 13 November 2010

A brief intro

I hate those "introductory" posts where people try to explain what they're going to blog about/who they are/what they want to achieve, possibly because I've never been able to write them myself.

This blog is NSFW (not safe for work)! It will contain graphic content in written and photographic form. I will be discussing BDSM and whatever other varieties of kink I fancy, if any (or all) of this offends you then don't read it.

Otherwise, I hope you enjoy ;)

Wednesday, 6 October 2010

One of those days

Not in the normal sense, but one of those days where you just want to be beaten. One of those days where you crave submission more than usual, where you want your Dominant to tie you up, beat your ass, beat your tits, fuck you hard and generally use you like a toy, ignoring any cries of pain or human needs, just a fuck toy. Oh boy is today one of those days.

Today is one of those days where I would voluntarily bend over and let him belt my ass black and blue (beltings terrify me!), where I would let him ram his cock into my ass with no lube and beg him to fuck me harder through tears of agony, where the pain in my raw ass would only drive me on, where no matter what he did to me I would want more, harder, faster. Today I am most definitely a masochist!

Wednesday, 29 September 2010

Anal Training

Today my Sir decided it was time to crack back into my anal training, pun intended,  so I'm writing this with a large butt plug in which will be there for 2 hours. I've worked up to it, yesterday I had a total of 4 hours with various sized plugs in, today I had a quick warm up with the small and medium ones and was pretty impressed when the large one slipped in. Don't get me wrong it still hurt, a lot, but it went in a lot easier!

So here I lay, large plug in my ass, rampant rabbit in my c*nt (I may have issues saying that word!), bands on my nipples, writhing about begging and pleading to be allowed to cum. It wont happen, Sir is evidently feeling very sadistic today, but it's always worth a try, right?!

This is all made worse by the fact that I am an ass slut. I really love anal, I mean really love anal! I cannot possibly explain to you how much I love having something large in my ass, specifically is said large object hurts and/or is attached to a sadist who the proceeds to fuck my ass until it is raw, it brings a whole new meaning to the term "it hurts so good!"
Did I mention that I was an ass slut?!

Ever the sadist Sir has just declared that I may cum, but only if I go for a 10 minute walk with the large plug in. Given that public humiliation is a huge turn on, but also a huge fear, for me and that I am currently in a desperate situation, I'm going to give it a shot! "Horny" doesn't even begin to cover it right now!

Gah, by the end of today I shall be a little pool of submissiveness on the floor!

Tuesday, 28 September 2010

Control

Or lack of it in my case. As a submissive I take great pleasure in handing over control of all aspects of my life to the person I am playing with, currently that is my Sir. When we started playing he assumed control of my clothing and my orgasms as well as my training. I absolutely love to have him tell me what I can and can't wear, it makes me feel like such a good little girl to do as I'm told and I love that :) It also allows me to be slutty without having to take responsibility for it! There are things that I would never wear/do if it wasn't for him telling me to and it become a constant reminder for the whole day that I am his.


Firstly, being horny the whole time makes me feel very submissive! Knowing that no matter how close I come to orgasm I'm not allowed to go over that edge makes me so happy, it makes me feel owned. I love to know that he can take me whenever he likes, and I know that he loves it too.


The most difficult part of Sir's clothing control has been the removal of panties. Panties are, for me, an essential part of my clothing. I only ever remove them for showers and sex, other than that I am guaranteed to be wearing some form of pant. Sir immediately recognised this boundary and put a ban on panties at home, meaning that if I was in the house I was not allowed to wear them, mean mean man! It has been a huge personal challenge for me to make the progress that I have with this and, amazingly, with his encouragement I have spent an entire day panty free, a work day I might add, in a skirt. I have walked home several times with no panties on and spent most of my time at home without them. It has saved me a huge amount of washing! I could never do it on my own, I would feel far to vulnerable, but feeling vulnerable for him is so wonderful :)