Wednesday, 29 December 2010

30 Days of Kink: Day 4

Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks?

I wouldn't say they hint at it so much as yell it from the rooftops! I had lots of Barbies and they were all sex slaves to Aladdin (the one Ken doll I had), several of them remained naked at all times, there was lots of orgies, lesbian sex and "rape." On several occasions Jasmine disobeyed and was beaten, tied up naked, gang raped and generally punished.

When I got a baby born for Christmas one year rather than using the accessories for the doll I used them for me, I kept a potty in my bedroom and imagined groups of men watching me pee in it, I used the bottle to give myself mini enemas (though I didn't know that's what they were).

In primary school I had a friend who, in hindsight, was my Domme. We spent lots of time together playing sexually. One time I remember vividly I was naked and lying down on my bedroom floor and she wrote on me in lipstick (I don't recall what) and inserted pencils, pens and various other objects into me.
Another time we were at her house playing and her little brother came in and she shut me in her wardrobe, totally naked.

I've already written about one of my fantasies during childhood, that was every time I had a shower. I had others which I will write about in the future.

So yea, I was way past hinting!

Tuesday, 28 December 2010

30 Days of Kink: Day 3

How did you discover you were kinky?

I must have been in my mid teens and I can't really remember a specific moment or even but I think it was general conversation with my friends that made me realise that all the fantasies I'd been having weren't "normal" and how I imagined sex to be wasn't what everyone else imagined. I think one of the main things that made me realise was when I was talking to my best friend about love and marriage and she was saying how she pictured her first time, on her wedding day, bed covered in rose petals, lights off, gentle love making. I had never in my life before that even considered that, I always pictured my first time being thrown to the bed, handcuffed, spanked and fucked hard.

So yea, I think it was mostly a comparison with friends thing!

30 Days of Kink: Day 2

List your kinks

My god! Where to start!

Power exchange certainly. I automatically surrender power in the bedroom so that's probably the most "important" if there's levels of importance! I'm really into humiliation too, I'm easily humiliated and shy which makes it fairly easy but I do enjoy it very much! They're probably the "main" ones.

Hmmm. I love anal, I'm quite an ass slut to be honest. I love being spanked. I'm turning into a bit of a pain slut too. The idea of being used by multiple people and whored out turns me on, I have yet to see if the reality does too though.

That is by no means a good list but I don't think I could write a full list, it would constantly need updating!

Monday, 27 December 2010

Punishment

I did not see this one coming, at all. I was expecting a ban on panties, to have to go out with my butt plug in, to have to wear my new nipple clamps for a set time, instead he has opted for a mind fuck!

I deserve it, I agreed to something and didn't consult him. I actually asked to be punished because I felt so guilty and I'm not very good at forgiving myself. But I wasn't expecting this! He is not letting me shave my *ahem* lady parts for at least 2 weeks. After 2 weeks he will judge how my behaviour has been and decide whether I am allowed to shave again.

That might not sound like much of a punishment but you need to bear in mind that I have never not shaved. The moment I started growing hair I shaved it. I have never, in my entire life, had hair "there"!

And so it begins...2 weeks...this should be interesting!

Wednesday, 15 December 2010

30 Days of Kink: Day 1

I have recently come across 30 days of Kink at Insatiable Desire and I thought it would be a fabulous way to introduce myself and maybe learn something about myself too! So here we go with day one:

Dom, sub, switch?
Sub. Though I do, now and again, find myself wondering what it would be like to Top.

What parts of BDSM interest you?
The discipline and submission parts are probably the most key to me.

Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you.
Oh lord, that's a difficult one. For me I it's about pleasing someone else, making them proud of me, making them happy, making their life a little easier and more enjoyable. That's what drives me. Having said that, I've recently discovered my inner pain slut so it's also about learning, developing and growing.

Basically define your kinky self for us.
I'm a submissive girl who's recently found a love for Daddy/girl play and realised that I'm a pain slut! I have a love of humiliation play and would love to be the "entertainment" at a party. There's still lots and lots I have to try but that's half the fun :)

Friday, 10 December 2010

A Childhood Fantasy

Sat in the shower listing to the radio my mind wanders, as always, to another place: a cold stone dungeon, completely bare apart from small stone "tables" that rise from the floor to about waist height, laid out in a regular pattern around the room. I am sat, naked, legs spread on one such table. As ever there is a girl on every table, all nude, some held down with chains, others resigned and doing as they are told. Men surround all of them. They are fully clothed, always, only ever unzipping when they want to fuck us.

A man approaches, different from the others, an air of arrogance surrounds him. He is the main object of my fantasies, he appears in all of them. He is a sadist, he has no regard for my feelings, to him I truly am just a toy to use however he sees fit. He picks up the shower head and aims it at my clit, ordering me to spread my lips so the water hits the sensitive little nub. The group of men surrounding me watch me fight the pleasure, I cum so easily that they never let me. He never lets me. I must always wait.

"Clench your cunt. Squeeze it. You should always be tight," he says. I battle to get control of my cunt, as I squeeze it tight I feel the need to cum overwhelm me. He sees my body tense and bellows "don't you dare." I clamour desperately to obey all of his orders, trying my hardest to keep my cunt muscles squeezed tight while doing my best to ignore the water spraying on my clit. "One minute," he says and I begin to mentally count down. Finally he says "cum, now," and my body begins to shudder, my hips buck but two men grab them and hold them down, the water does not stop spraying at my, now over sensitive, clit. I begin to scream and cry, desperate to wiggle away from it.

He is watching me. I am writhing under the hands that are now holding my hips still and my legs wide. "Stop," he commands, but I can't, he knows I can't. "Stop right now or I will rip orgasms from you until I am happy that you have learnt your lesson." I cry harder as I realise my unavoidable fate. The water continues to pound my clit and suddenly I feel a pressure on my ass. He rams a plug into me, sending me further into the spiral of pleasure, I cry out as another orgasm tears through my little body hot on the heels of the last. He demands that I squeeze the plug, as I attempt to writhe it grinds into me making the pleasure even more unbearable. More tears stream down my face.

He continues to drag orgasm after orgasm from my trembling body, watching me , getting off on my trauma. Finally he decides to stop, the water ceases and he flicks my tender clit before he walks away. I squeal and struggle to stand.

Back to reality I balance on my wobbly legs, finishing washing myself before getting out of the shower.

Monday, 6 December 2010

Bedtime

I have a bedtime, 1am, it's a sensible hour, I asked for it, but dammit I can't keep to it. I suffer insomnia and lying in bed for hours on end getting stressed and upset isn't especially appealing. I desperately want to keep to my bedtime, when my sleeping is normal and I get to bed at 1am, or earlier, I often dream about snuggling up with him. It comforts me to know that I've done as he asked and makes me feel close to him.

I have all but exhausted the suggestions on how to beat insomnia: lavender oil, rescue remedy night, nytol, kalms, no caffeine, lying in bed for hours, getting up and doing things, having wind down time, having a bedtime routine, only going to bed when tired, going to bed at the same time, forcing myself to get up at a sensible hour, allowing myself to sleep, etc, etc, etc. You get the picture! Nothing works.

It's so frustrating. I know he understands and I can't help it but it's so frustrating. I want to be a good girl and my dammed body wont let me!