Tuesday, 13 March 2012

30 Days of Kink: Day 30

Whatever BDSM/kink related thing you want to write about.

 On not being X/Y/Z enough

I go through phases of kink. I'm kinky all the time, but there are times, a lot of times, where I don't feel kinky enough. There's so many 'hardcore' kinksters out there and I find it impossible to not compare myself with them: they don't mind doing this, they love that, they do all these things I can't...it goes on.

So now is one of those times where I find myself pondering if I should just drop out of kink for good and accept that I'm never going to be a good submissive because of my limitations and fears that I shan't go into here, well, not right now anyway. Suffice to say they are unchangeable.

I don't want to, when I don't feel like this I love kink and when I'm enjoying it with someone special it's the best thing ever, but right now I have no one special (in a LTR sense) and am beating myself up about all my failings and wondering if it's worth it. Afterall, it's supposed to be fun, not a lesson in all the things you suck at/can't do.

The 2 Dom's I'm currently playing with are understanding, but I still feel like I'm letting them down all the time and I hate that, but I can't just magically change who I am and how I am.


I shall now stop rambling and promise a naughty post next time.


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