Wednesday, 3 April 2013

Wicked Wednesday: Discussion

Let's discuss discussion, shall we?

Discussion is super important in relationships, any relationships, but especially in kinky relationships. The discussion of limits is possibly the most important discussion you will have with your play partner. If I'm honest, I find discussing limits hard, I don't want to let people down and ruling out certain types of play sometimes feels that way, but it has to be done. Another reason I find it hard is because I'm always a bit worried that I'll miss something! Either something I love will get forgotten or I wont have thought of everything that is a hard limit of mine.
To make things a bit easier for me I'm in the process of making a list that I can refer to when the question comes up. As I think of, or find out about, new types of play they either get put on my hard or soft limits, or it gets left off the list and is acceptable.
Many people advise that your limits list should be inclusive rather than exclusive (I hope I got that the right way around), meaning you list things that you will do and not things you wont, because it's safer that way. I'm not sure either way is better, though I can absolutely see the sense in it being an inclusive list, that way you know what you're getting in to, but my list is exclusive and being built in the hopes I can exclude everything that isn't for me, and it's also helping me learn about new kinks.

I seem to have got sidetracked somewhat by my list, so let's get back to the discussion. It can be awkward, but it needs to be done and done well, so put on your grown up panties and get on with it. Take a deep breath, get out your list (mental or otherwise) and state your kinks, loud and proud. And remember that discussion goes both ways, so listen to the other person's list too. Take notes if you need to, ask questions, make sure you take it all in. As I said before, this is a super important discussion, and you owe it to all involved to make sure it's successful.
Wicked Wednesday... be inspired & share...

Tuesday, 2 April 2013

Kink of the Week: Wax Play

Kink of the WeekThis week's kink is wax play, and this isn't something I've had the, erm, pleasure of trying! At least not yet. So I can only talk about how it looks and whether I want to try it.
It's certainly something I'd like to try, even though the idea scares me quite a lot! I have a bit of a fear of hot play after getting burned by a lighter at the hands of a 'Dom' with no experience or learning on the topic at all. We were both young and naive. But even so, I'd like to give it a whirl and find out what the feeling is like. I think if I were blindfolded and with someone I truly trusted then it could be great fun to experience the feelings and emotions that go with it.
I find images of wax play quite scary to look at to be honest, in fact fear is probably the main emotion that goes alongside it for me, but that fear does turn me on.
So, it's another short post again for KOTW, but they're my feelings on wax play!

Monday, 1 April 2013

Bloglovin' Claim - Ignore

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30 Days of Kink: Day 16

What are the most difficult aspects of having a sexuality that involves kink or BDSM for you personally?

 For me it is the lack of understanding and therefore having to watch what I say in public for fear of judgement. This is what has led me to a semi-anonymous blog, so that I can express myself, find myself properly, without that fear. Or at least with a lessened fear.
I find, especially with Daddy/girl play, that there is a massive lack of understanding. People can often understand a bit of "slap 'n' tickle" and to an extent D/s is becoming mainstream now with 50 Shades and the like appearing in bedrooms around the country, but Daddy/girl is not seen in the same light. Even in the kinky community it's looked on as a bit odd a lot of the time, at least that's what I've found.
So that's the hardest thing for me, the judgement that comes along with being a little, even with being a submissive and the fact that it sends me into hiding. I hate that.