Thursday, 13 February 2014

I'm a good girl or am I?

Following on from yesterday's post which touched on denying my true self, I thought I'd explore some more why I struggle to truly accept my kinky side.
I go through phases where I crave kink, during those times I feel that I do accept it and I am happy for it to be a part of me, but I always find that when that phase has passed I feel shame.
I feel ashamed of what I did during that time, what I have said and how I have felt. I know that I shouldn't feel ashamed because it is a part of me and sexuality is a natural part of life, but it's how I feel.
I feel like there are two people inside me, one prim, proper, straight laced girl and one depraved slut and I don't know how to combine the two to create the slutty yet shy girl I feel that I am.
I know it is something I need to work on alone, that it is unfair to bring my current issues into a relationship if one does crop up, but I find it so much easier to accept myself when someone else loves and accepts me.

Help!

3 comments:

  1. perhaps that is just how you are . no one is a slut all the time or prim and proper . i go through phases like this too . i enjoy both .

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  2. I have my vanilla/professional persona and my kink persona both are different to each other. I think acceptance of the fact that they are both a part of me. I was with a person that knew only the vanilla part of me and only a very small part of the kink persona. I left. Now I have someone who knows all of me and accepts me as I am. If I had never met him then I would find people who could satisfy what I needed to when I needed to, otherwise I have a wonderful set of toys and the internet to talk with and connect with like-minded people!!

    ~Mia~ xx

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  3. My Dear- you are normal- I go through the same emotions- wanting to please- scare out of my wits!

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