This sounds ridiculous so I'll just come right out and say it; I'm afraid of orgasms.
Is that the right way to explain it? I don't know. I just know that as my orgasm builds, when I'm masturbating (i.e. no one else is involved), I put it off. I can come really quickly, stupidly so in fact, but I have a fear of the actual orgasm, that feeling scares me and I don't know why. Maybe I feel too vulnerable, maybe it's that my clit just feels so sensitive I can't handle it, maybe it's something completely different, but I think it's something I need to deal with.
I need to stop metaphorically hiding from that build up. When I feel it starting to rise inside me I'll change what I'm doing to make it go away for a bit again, but still I'm drawn to masturbate. It has never stopped me masturbating. It just means that to push myself over the edge, to make myself do it, I have to imagine a Dom making me, and maybe that's a good thing?
Are these feelings 'normal'? Or do I need some sort of kinky therapy?