Monday, 18 May 2015

24/7

What does 24/7 mean to you?

To me it's about knowing that, whenever, wherever, they have the final word, that my opinions will be taken into consideration, but that it's not my decision to make. That, after the initial negotiations, I'm theirs, and trusting them to do what is right for both of us.

It's more than just sexual decisions, though, of course, they are included. It's the mundane, everyday stuff too:what to have for dinner, whether we go to the movies tonight, what we watch on the TV. Right up to the big decisions like which house to buy.

And I know that I will take some taming. A firm hand will most definitely be required, but I want it. I want it so much; to belong to someone, to be theirs, at their command, 24/7.

I understand that it's not all Fifty Shades of glamorous, or like it is in much of the erotica I have read, but god do I want it. I want all it entails. I will need to build up to it, I know that, I cannot just surrender myself in one go, I'm not that girl, but I will have it, in time.

It scares me, if I'm honest. I feel a little trepidation, I am opinionated, determined, I know (mostly) what I want, and the idea of handing myself over to someone and saying "I surrender" does make me a little nervous, but at the same time I feel the desire in me to have that relationship. To know that, no matter how much I protest, if they say no, it means no. If they want it, it's happening. I feel I need that in my life just as much as I want it. I need it to make me feel safe, secure, loved.

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