Friday, 3 July 2015

Impossible Tasks

Have you ever been given a task that you just couldn’t do?

 In a word, yes.

My ex and I had some love egg/Ben-Wa ball type things and one day, before we went out with some friends, he asked me to put them in. The plan was that I would wear them while we were out.

I put them in, like a good girl, and we waited downstairs for our friends to arrive. I got nervous. Very nervous. And as the doorbell went I begged and pleaded to be allowed to take them out.

And this is where I realise that I am glad he is my ex, because, instead of taking my hand and firmly leading me out the door, telling me it would all be ok, he said I could take them out. So I ran upstairs to the toilet and removed them, and we went on about our day with no kinky fun to be had.

I'm not laying the blame 100% at his door, I should have sucked it up and focused on pleasing him, for sure, but I had worked myself into such a state with my nerves that I needed his support and guidance and he took the easy way out.

I'm definitely someone who needs that push from a Top to do things that are out of my comfort zone. And trust me, a lot is out of my comfort zone! But I desperately want to please, to be able to do those things, I just need a supportive hand to hold mine while I'm fighting those nerves so I feel more secure and safe doing naughty things.